"Root To Bloom" - A Program Born from My Healing Journey
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Each season we hire community healers, & wellness practitioners as guest speakers to add to the wealth of resources around us. Here we are in the EcoCenter with movement healer, Sammay Dizon.
I used to be a community-based service provider and vocal advocate for diversity within land-based organizations. I spoke out, led efforts, formed groups and containers to drive the narrative of “lack of diversity” and hold myself to the fire, challenging my higher ups and the authorities-that-be, for more inclusive space for people like me and the communities I serve, who often looked like me. But I quickly learned through many failed attempts and fallouts that this wasn’t where my fire for change was going to be affective.
Sadly, like many other passionate (I would even say wounded) providers, I thought vocalizing my needs would get me somewhere, but it only left me burnt out. I was left with bigger questions about “Who am I in this work?”, “Why do I feel the need to stay?”, and the most challenging, “Why can’t I be who I am and focus on the actual work of creating change for my community?”. Well, the story I’m about to share below is a story of many years of the unfolding story that answered these questions. And when I say many years, I’m talking about 10+ years of a swervey, chaotic, and down right traumatic career path.
If there’s anything I hope you gain from reading the origin story of Root To Bloom, its that
(1) the path to your true purpose is hella long and arduous. If it’s not, you probably have more to learn and grow from
(2) when you finally surrender and listen to more than your experience, meaning your listening to your heart, your ancestors, your guides beyond the Earthly realm, you begin to listen to the forces of nature that have always been guiding you since you were born. You begin to trust the things that are beyond this world and magic begins to unfold.
So, I’m grateful you can take the time out to hear how this program speaks so much to my journey of healing as woman of color in environmental education work and that’s it is possible to create beautiful things for the people to meet their blooming!
🌺 Years ago when I started my non-profit environmental justice career I worked as a Program Manager in San Francisco's Bayview/Hunters Point neighborhood. I thought it was my dream job and I would be there for a long time. Little did I know, the day I walked into the office on my first day...I was walking into what would be a 2 year nightmare. The organization's leadership had crumbled 2 weeks prior to me starting. Ironically the park site, Heron's Head & the EcoCenter's education programming centered the historic toxicity of SF's Southeast. I was teaching about toxicity and experiencing toxic work environments at the same time.
I don't know if you've ever experienced a level of workplace toxicity that causes you to flee from the community and distance yourself for your own safety and well-being, but I spent many years away from the community except for the few trusted relationships I kept close as I transitioned and explored other avenues of my career.
Almost 10 years after that job I found myself on the same park site, different professional path as an entrepreneur but still working with nature, focused on providing a healing learning space for community-based service providers. I couldn't believe that the path I walked to come back to a site that caused me so much harm would be a place that would not only provide healing for me, but also heal the providers in the program.
Our program theory of change disrupts the cycle and value on productivity in our providers with self care and healing practices
I am always in awe of Root To Bloom being in my life. Being my life's work. It could be that my healing needed this program to be designed to disrupt the toxic work environment of valuing productivity with valuing self care and provider well-being. Because from my experience, I knew that the productivity value that plagues many community-based service centered organizations can perpetuate capitalism’s engine of seeing people as a commodity of labor instead of seeing them as stakeholders of our greater community’s long-term health and wellness. I always wanted someone to acknowledge this in the organizations I worked in, especially those that targeted marginalized communities. So, in the Root To Bloom Program I made sure we talk about colonization’s design to keep us locked into productivity so that we don’t attain the awareness that we can value ourselves as gifted contributors to our own needs for a healthy and fulfilling life. Because if we attain such power, we can’t be controlled.
It always strikes me as my radical stance on loving my community by being able to create this program to say these things and teach emerging leaders to reclaim their power with tools we share in the program. Because I’ve been a product of burn out and being outcasted, “laid-off” or ostracized from leadership in previous organizations where I’ve attempted to integrate these values as was retaliated against in some form or fashion. But something many years ago kept me tethered to my beliefs and stayed steadfast in my search to find a way to still say these things and have autonomy as safety. It just so happened I needed to leave the non-profit structure and create an entity that, to be real, only I can fire myself from, lol!
Root To Bloom has unfolded as this safe place and container for fierce providers like me to have a home for processing and understanding our intergenerational traumas without retaliation or stigmatization; something I wish I had especially when I was providing direct service to adjudicated youth. Now, I have so many people, spirit guides, ancestors to thank for this. More importantly I can thank myself for saying yes to a path most wouldn’t dare step into. That inner voice of my WARRIOR SELF was definitely wounded but committed to my true purpose and I mostly send her rest and gratitude these days.
Testimonial from Denicia, Season 2 graduate
Allowing myself the surrender to other messages in my dreams or the synchronicities showing up in my everyday walk are just some of the reasons why I think Root To Bloom holds such a special vibe and space for the community that surrounds it. Together with my co-creator and conspirator, Kisai of CommUNITY, this program has consistently shown us the power of creating something so unique and exactly what we would have wanted as frontline staff; a holistic and transformative space where we could truly just be and heal.
And as we’ve begun to open our space for the fourth year of Root To Bloom, I’m reminded again of the power of my healing journey to heal some of our community’s deepest wounds. I can’t say that my healing has ended. I don’t believe its even possible to “be healed”. So as long as I’m on this Earth, my healing will continue on. But what I do know is that after these many years of diving into the scary parts, moving through the roller coaster of life and leadership, there are moments that I’m reminded all of my struggles and experiences can serve me later by showing up as healing for others. I just have to keep listening, keep trusting.
So I’ll leave you with some of the coach-y type reflections you can take as you continue on your journey of self discovery and healing in hopes that your journey can find a point of coming full circle. And I hope you can share your thoughts and responses with me below. I’d love to engage with your story of healing.
Click this image to listen to our IG Live session sharing the magic that birthed our program and its impact on our community
