How You Know It's Time to Heal

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How You Know It’s Time to Heal

3 Signs that say you’re there

Someone once asked me, "What's the most challenging part of working in community?" I answered, "When community doesn't believe healing is needed." 

All I could think about were times where I witnessed normalized violence and toxicity in my family. For a long time I thought certain reactions or ways of viewing people were normal. Like, road raging as a young adult. I knew it was dangerous and violent, but I grew up with a road raging father. At the time it seemed normal to be around that. But then somewhere in my body and psyche, I began to agree with this attitude and response and I adopted it when I was younger. It wasn't until I started to give myself permission to pay attention to how I was impacting the world, that I realized I can do things differently. Mostly this was because my impacts on others were sometimes negative. 

But it took a lot of years and life experience to get to a point where I decided to engage in some real and deep healing. So, I wanted to share with you a couple of ways that helped me embark on a healing journey that proved to me, worth charting unknown territory. And FYI, these things still happen to me all-the-time! We don’t reach a point of being “healed”, rather healing is a constant journey throughout life; there’s always something to work on.

Here are just three signs that let you know when it's time to heal.

You find yourself frustrated and overwhelmed by things that normally don't bug you - here's a sign that where you are in life is just not enough. You want more and you know more is possible.

How does this translate to what needs healing? If you can thread your frustrations back into its origin, what we’re really being presented with is our sense of value and self worth. Frustrations about how things are done or how you’re observing them can give you clues into what you know to be possible. What exactly are you frustrated about? Have you felt similarly in the past and what was the core of that frustration? Find common threads in moments that left you feeling the same type of emotion and it can lead you to a place in life where you felt like you knew something was better or possible for yourself.

You're going through or have just come out of a major life event or situation - life has just thrown you a bunch of information and opportunity to flex your abilities. Here's life showing you your capacity and IT showing you that you are made for more.

It could feel more like you’re in survival mode, but doesn’t survival mode also put us in a place to search urgently for extra resources and support? Like clamoring for something to help you in times of great need, we’re also pushed out of our comfort zones or edges just to make it through the next step. Oftentimes, stepping back from the situation or reflecting back on what just happened can help reveal what needed healing from those events. Like having a realization that you just survived something tremendous, or that you just made it through those tough times. Finding out exactly what you did or what you were thinking in those critical times can bring so much awareness to your capacity to hold challenges now that you’ve overcome them. You’ve just gone through some kind of healing when you’re able to wisely observe key points in your life.

More than a few things in your external environment seem chaotic, but not always directly because of you - this is the Universe's way of saying, "I know you see this! Now, what are you going to do about it, oh wise and gifted one?"

I went through a lot of these types of messages when I was younger, about the time of my first Saturn return (typically happens around ages 28-32). So many things imploding, exploding, relationships going awry, structures and institutions unraveling…sound familiar these days? 

Now, pandemic times have certainly played a perfect example in what I’m saying here. So what healing has this pandemic revealed to us? Much of what we see today in our external environment is causing us to go inward and ask ourselves, “what went wrong?” , the challenges around this pandemic have been around the care for others and the long brewing tensions between us racially and culturally. So, when it seems like the world around us is about to topple over, we can begin asking ourselves, 

  • What did I miss? 

  • What was I not paying attention to or investing my time in that caused me to not see beneath the surface and now this is what would be the outcome?” 

Because life is actively showing us that we’ve missed the assignment. So, what can you do now to get back on track and focus on your well-being?

In many ways, the signs that you're ready to deepen your life experience and skills require you to FIRST know and believe that healing is needed; that you simply want things to be different. What stops us from diving into a true healing journey can be the facts that

  • you’re not really ready to face the dark stuff, the shadows, the traumas, the yucky feelings

  • you may be intimidated by your level up; like knowing that the different you will be more powerful puts you in a place of resistance

  • you just don’t know where to start

More often than not, the majority of us WON’T sign onto a healing journey because of the reasons I just pointed out. What’s more common is to find yourself at rock bottom or in a situation where you’re left with no other choice but to begin healing. So no matter what, we all have the capacity to get started on some version of a healing journey. 

And healing isn't just about when you are directly harmed and in need of support. Healing can also mean that younger versions of you still need tending to because you're not able to access your full and whole self today, as an adult. The latter scenario is one of the biggest areas I tackle with leaders in private sessions! 

As a leadership coach with healing centered approaches, I always advocate for the normalization of these challenging times and yucky feelings because the more we ignore them, the more those feelings will start to nag at us to get to the healing it needs before you can level up. This is where triggers come from; unhealed parts of our past that get signaled to come back to us as adults. Now, have you cultivated the tools and wisdom to now offer your younger, hurt parts? That’s where someone like me can be that support for you. 

If you want to know more about where you are in your time to heal through barriers and blocks preventing you from the life of liberation you crave, you check out my offerings below

 

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