Are You Using 'Accountability' Accurately?
/
In my coaching certification program it was made more clear to me, this thing called accountability.
You see in my practice, one of the first things to establish in a new coaching relationship is the creation of a safe space to work through challenges. And because vulnerability is required for transformation, part of creating that safety is to establish a safe system of accountability. Not to just say we’ll be accountable for each other’s actions, but to create a system and process so that accountability is used accurately and for the powerful function it has in healthy relationships.
What do I mean? Well, let me ask you, what is accountability?
Simply put, it’s one’s ability to take into account what just happened/what they did/the harm they just caused. And that’s it!
So, when you hear accountability being demanded in response to the hurts and harms done onto ourselves and our communities do you think it’s being used accurately? I personally think that a majority of the time it’s NOT. Typically when I hear the request or demand of accountability, my deep listening tells me that what is really wanted is that the person who caused the harm needs to face the consequences or be held responsible, as in go to jail, or lose their job, etc...
It’s fair to say that we become emotionally charged by these harms, BUT facing consequences or being held responsible is not the same thing as being held accountable. Again, being held accountable is being able to recall what you did. And only this.
And until we get better at saying what we mean and meaning what we say, we’re probably not addressing our issues with each other head on or solving problems efficiently. So, let me add some more pieces to this puzzle...
Accountability is only one piece of establishing a healthy relationship. The other pieces that are often overlooked are
the process of recovery once a hurt or harm is done
the process of repair of the relationship after a hurt or harm
*sidenote: replace hurt or harm with “broken agreement” and you can apply this system to your workplace, or any social institutions
Our healing can start with accountability, but it doesn’t end there. Restorative justice requires that RECOVERY and REPAIR become the steps included into a normalized process of healing and transforming the way we relate to each other.
So I challenge you to (1) think about whether you want accountability or really just want someone to face their consequences and (2) figure out if it’s accountability you know is needed, then ask the leading, critical questions:
What actually happens after accountability is established?
Is there a system in place that takes into account the recovery process for everyone post harm?
Are there agreements in place about how the relationships will be repaired?
Chances are if the critical pieces of recovery and repair aren’t coupled with accountability, then you have a broken or dysfunctional system upholding (or not) that relationship.
Requesting accountability without knowing how the entire system of recovery and repair are involved in that process is like setting off an avalanche of more harm and destruction.
We just end up with more to clean up!
How are you setting up your SYSTEM OF ACCOUNTABILITY for yourself?
How are you setting up your SYSTEM OF ACCOUNTABILITY for your community/work place/organization?
Share in the comments below. I’m curious to know how you can apply this!
